Green Flags: Recognizing Healthy Relationship Traits Early On
When teens and young adults start dating, it’s easy to get caught up in excitement, pressure, and outside opinions. From family or friend groups giving their input, to social media comparisons, to navigating what “commitment” even means—it’s a lot to take in. But one of the most important lessons to learn early on in dating is this:
Healthy relationships don’t just happen—you build them through honest reflection, practicing respectful communication, and learning from each experience.
The Honeymoon Phase & Rose-Colored Glasses
In the early stages of a relationship—often called the honeymoon phase—everything can feel exciting, fun, and intensely connected. This is when the emotional high can cause what we call the “rose-colored glasses” effect: when someone appears to check all the boxes and seems like the perfect match, simply because everything is new and positive.
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying this phase, but it’s important to remember that not everything is always as it seems in the beginning. That’s why reflection and discernment matter.
Ask yourself:
Do their actions match their words consistently?
Do the observations of family and friends align with your experience?
Are you able to be honest with yourself about who they are—or are you justifying or explaining away behaviors that don’t sit right?
Your awareness of how someone acts when situations are going well, or when they aren’t ideal, can reveal a lot about how they may continue to show up in a relationship.
“The “rose-colored glasses” effect: when someone appears to check all the boxes and seems like the perfect match, simply because everything is new and positive.”
What Are “Green Flags”?
Green flags are signs that a relationship is built on trust, care, and mutual respect. These traits help you feel secure being yourself, even as you’re learning who you are. Here are a few examples inspired by the TherapistAid.com Green Flags worksheet:
They listen to you and respect your opinions—even when you disagree.
You feel comfortable being yourself around them.
They don’t pressure you into doing things you’re not ready for—physically, emotionally, or socially.
They encourage you to spend time with friends and family, or time spent in hobbies
They respect your boundaries, and maintain their own boundaries too.
They apologize when they’re wrong, and take steps to do better.
In short, a potential partner with these green flags is someone who helps you feel safe, respected, and accepted as you are. True green flags aren’t just about one-time good moments—they’re consistent actions that show respect and care even when things are stressful, uncertain, or less convenient.
Respect Is the Foundation
At the heart of every green flag is respect. A healthy partner respects your:
Boundaries – They listen when you say “no” or “not yet,” and never try to guilt you into something.
Time and independence – They understand that you have a life outside of the relationship and support that.
Emotions – They don’t dismiss how you feel or make you feel like you’re “too sensitive.”
Differences – They don’t need you to agree on everything. Instead, they stay open and curious about your views and experiences.
Healthy Habits Start Early
The habits you build now shape your communication style, your ability to set and hold boundaries, and the way you navigate emotional closeness. You’re laying the foundation for how you’ll show up in your relationships. Pausing to check in with yourself regularly helps you stay grounded in your values and needs.
Start practicing habits like:
Checking in with your emotions: Are you feeling comfortable, excited, nervous, unsure? All of these feelings are valid, and learning to name them helps you better understand your needs in a relationship.
Respecting your own limits: It’s important to honor your personal boundaries—around time, touch, communication, or commitment—before trying to protect the relationship itself.
Being honest about your needs: Whether it’s needing space, clarity, or more time before taking a step forward, expressing these things early on sets a tone of openness and trust.
The earlier you develop these habits, the easier it becomes to recognize when a relationship is (or isn’t) serving your well-being. You’ll start to feel more confident in your decisions—not just about who you’re with, but about how you engage in the relationship itself. These habits not only help you recognize green flags—they help you be a partner who brings those same strengths to the relationship.
It’s okay to not have it all figured out yet. Healthy habits don’t mean being perfect—they mean staying curious, practicing self-awareness, and learning from each relationship experience. Try to view dating as an opportunity to grow—not just with another person, but for yourself. Every conversation, boundary, or moment of reflection is a step toward building the kind of relationships that align with the life you want.
Encouraging Reflection: Are You Seeing Green Flags?
Here are a few reflection questions to help you check in with your current or future relationships:
Do I feel heard and supported when I talk about my thoughts or feelings?
Is my partner kind to me even when we don’t agree?
Do I feel pressure to act a certain way, or do I feel free to be myself?
Do I enjoy the relationship most of the time?
Can we both take responsibility and say sorry when we mess up?
If you’re saying “yes” to these, you’re likely seeing some strong green flags.
Want to explore what green flags look like in your life?
Try journaling your answers to the reflection questions—or talk them through with a trusted friend, adult, or therapist.
Final Thought
Healthy relationships start with mutual respect, reflection, and open communication. Whether your relationship lasts a few weeks or a few years, every connection is an opportunity to practice showing up as your authentic self—and looking for the same in return.
You deserve relationships where you feel valued, heard, and safe to grow.